There comes a time in every relationship when you simply can’t go on ignoring it. It’s a problem for every couple at some point when one of them snores.
The big question is, how do you talk to your loved one about their problem without hurting their feelings or giving the wrong impression?
Luckily I am here to help you with that. Keep reading to find out the best way to bring this up and the best way to handle this sensitive subject.
What You Can Expect
Typically, when you bring your partner’s snoring to their attention you can expect four main things to present themselves in some way. Your partner may only react with one or more of these.
The four big things are denial, feelings of helplessness, fear, and embarrassment. Any one of these can get in the way of the conversation. However, to understand how to deal with these four elements, you must first understand why your partner feels that way.
The feeling of being helpless in this situation is very common. Even with the popularity of the internet and sites like this one, few people know that any snoring solutions exist.
Since that is the case, they simply don’t know what to do. This leaves them feeling helpless. If your partner feels this way it is up to you to inform them of the truth.
Let them know that they do have options. Let them know that they can put an end to it. Let them know that it isn’t a death sentence for your relationship.
Denial is very common as well. How do they know you aren’t just making this up? Maybe no one has ever told them that they snore. The chances of them knowing without someone telling them are next to nothing.
If this is the problem then the easiest thing you can do is record your loved one snoring. It’s hard to deny solid proof. So many cell phones can take videos now that this shouldn’t be a difficult task.
Fear and embarrassment tend to go together in this situation. Your loved one may be scared that you won’t love them as much or sleep next to them anymore.
A lot of guys won’t admit it, but being close to their partner at night is important to them too. It’s almost the exact same story for embarrassment. They don’t want you to think less of them because they snore. That could really hurt them. Nobody needs to get hurt during this conversation. I’ll tell you how to get through it without any casualties.
Rule #1 – Be Patient
It may take a few minutes for your partner to realize you are trying to help them. If they aren’t up to speed on snoring and what it can do to both of you then let them know.
Don’t make it an in your face fact session though. Keep things more laid back. You aren’t arguing you are just trying to help them. It may even take several conversations with some people. Maybe you’ll get lucky and your partner will know right away that you only have their best interest at heart.
Rule #2 – Be Understanding
If your partner is concerned about something then listen to them. Maybe they are afraid to try an anti-snoring device. Sympathize with them. Just get them to start making small changes if that’s all they will agree to.
Relationships are not a one-way street so don’t treat yours like one. If you were the one with the snoring problem you would want your partner to be understanding. Give them the same privilege that you would expect to receive.
Rule #3 – Be Sensitive
Always remember that you are trying to help your partner. Often you need to be sensitive to do that. If it seems like you have offended your partner in some way then try to explain things in a lighter and more positive way.
Try to read their reactions and accommodate to them to keep things going smoothly. There is no reason to turn this into a fight or argument. Be sensitive and try to find a tone that fits both your partner and the conversation.
Final Tips for a Productive Conversation
There are just a few things I wanted to mention here that I didn’t really hit with the other tips. First of all, try to bring the subject up as casually as possible. Usually sometime when both of you are relaxing together in the evening is a good time for this.
Get close to your partner, gently touch them while looking into their eyes and just tell them you need to talk. Don’t act nervous or upset or else they might get the wrong impression right off the bat.
Also, tell your partner why you are concerned about their snoring. Don’t try to scare them but let them know what the real risks are. Strokes, constant exhaustion, and headaches are all things I’m sure they would rather live without.
It never hurts to paint a picture of a great night’s sleep for both of you either. Tell them about the positive changes that they can expect once they find a way to stop snoring. The old saying “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” definitely applies here.
The final suggestion I have is to make the conversation about both of you. Some people will not make changes just for themselves. Sometimes all they need is to do it for someone else.
Make sure your partner knows that finding a snoring solution will help both of you, not just them. Let them know that their snoring can affect you too. Things like hearing loss and sleep deprivation are common among those who have a partner that snores.